Dear Marshall

So here is a poem I wrote a few minutes ago on my Tumblr.... I decided I should post it here too.

This is an open letter,

Not to considered a confession,

Not be confused with fan mail,

You get to much of that,

I just like the name,

And the references will bring the readers back.

Hey Marshall,

I’m having a Relapse,

Bottles of alcohol and prescription caps,

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg,

Dreams of murder scenes,

With faces I don’t know…

I love her,

She hates me,

Something like Kim and Haley,

I don’t sleep,

Days writing poems,

Nights crying alone,

Shell casings all over my bedroom floor…..

I want to end it tonight,

Yet my state of mind,

Paranoia, and situation,

Keeps me pacing back and forth,

I’m afraid I love her,

She really hates me,

I want to go,

But it wouldn’t fix me,

And truthfully if I do it,

It’s just to see if,

She would miss me…….. 

A Reprise

Yesterday is behind me,

Yet I feel as if it is still here,

I cleared the air,

But still I cannot breathe…

 

Each word force from my lips,

I’m lost and numb,

The cold winds are like daggers to the chest,

Each gust piercing into my soul…

 

Paranoia is a toxin,

It is all around,

Inhale it once,

Then shaking it is impossible.

Try as you may,

Try as you might,

Once inhaled you’ll never be right…

 

My thoughts whether imaginary or not,

Still cloud my judgment,

Watching patterns,

Learning, developing,

And hurting myself every step of the way.

 

What I failed to notice,

Was how bad I was hurting you,

You and you’re importance yet to be notice,

I hope I didn’t make to bad of a mistake,

I hope my soul the reaper does not take,

I hope you ignore my moment of weakness,

And I hope this all is just a bad dream,

So I won’t have to repeat this……..