The Things I Use To Do

I use to run an advice blog, shades of it could be found on Tumblr. The internet is enteral like that.
I use to care about my roommate, somedays I still do...
He wasn't always the brightest but his intentions were, lets avoid it.
I use to write everyday, now I write whenever.
I use to want friends, and I guess I still do...
I use to sing out loud, now only in the dark..
I use to share my thoughts, now I store them away like precious figurines...
I use to think this was a list, but it seems to want to become art,
I use to let my delusions run my life,
I believe it is now the paranoia,
I use to believe in love, but love never believed in me,
Now I believe in lost, especially the things lost to me,
Like the meaning of this, and this,
And everything above.
Now I wish for change, a change I do not understand,
Just to do something different,
A chance to be unique,
A chance to breathe,
To escape the expectations of reality,
A change from the red pill,
To the blue,
A change that will open my eyes,
To the wonders that still exist around me,
I just hope those wonders aren't lost in this fantasy...