Going Through Changes

Jr. High was a bitch. Puberty was a bitch. High school was a bitch. College might be the same, but I don’t know. Last summer was a blast, but this one is something that I’m not enjoying. But as my Dad said it just started. Well I keep saying things are different because I’m going up. But if going up means shit constantly going wrong. I want to be forever young. I never had a stable home but at least it was something. It seems like the older I get the further away from the family I grow. Not just my mother’s side of the family, my father’s too. I think I’m just looking for someone who understands me. Someone that is going through it. But there is no one going through the same problems as you ever. But why the hell does growing up have so painful. Where are all those so call friends when you need them? Where are all those guidance counselors, anger management sponsors and coaches? Nowhere to be found as of now. At least the “friends” will be back soon.

 

Is it just me. I don’t to come off as bitter or upset. But everything is looking downhill. Luckily I’ve learn to look up and walk backwards. See from the top of the hill everything is down. And I’ve been at the top of this hill for a while. Hey will you catch me when I fall? Stick your hand out to help me up? Reach down from that pedestal so we could be side by side again? Oh damn, I’m asking a lot of questions again. Well at least I know if we take things this way I have a friend for a little longer. If we never make it back together, I’ll be a little bit upset. But I understand. I’ll wait a few more months. December makes a year. Should I wait longer? I mean love can wait forever right? I don’t know. I hope she doesn’t make me wait that long. She is here right now, and she says that there is nobody else. I believe her too.

 

Promise me if you decided to read this you wont be mad. You the reader, you my friend, and you the person who the second paragraph was directed to. A year feels like a life time. And after today it will feel like an eternity. If you can’t promise me that you won’t be made could you promise me this. That if I wait, that it wouldn’t be in vain.